I find it a privilege to work with the unique individuals in this program.  They can be funny, angry, passionate, guarded, or expressive- but all are resilient.  And I have the honor of hearing their many stories of survival and hope.  I am often amazed that they have made it to Positive Directions and are able to sit with me to tell their story.

Although each person’s story is unique, many have faced trauma and addiction in their lives.  All of them are now dealing with another challenge- being diagnosed with HIV and having no place to call home.  For most, their HIV diagnosis created a domino affect of losses-- losing their job because of missed days at work, losing family support because of misconceptions about HIV, and losing their home and turning to the streets.  Some feel so hopeless, that they embark on a path of self-destruction by recklessly using drugs and alcohol, avoiding any kind of medical care, or engaging in criminal behavior without concern for the consequences.  For some, it can feel like this diagnosis has taken their identity, dignity and future.

I have been astonished that so many of our clients have spent years keeping their HIV a secret; avoiding any talk about it with their primary support systems.  Others courageously tell family and friends, only to be rejected and put out on the streets because their family “didn’t want to share a bathroom with someone with AIDS.” They become emotionally and socially isolated, depressed, and fearful... fearful of the stigma related to the diagnosis of HIV and fearful of how this diagnosis will impact their life in the future. Because of their isolation, many feel that they are simply waiting for their life to end. 

When they come to Positive Directions, many clients are relieved to finally feel free to discuss their HIV status and the layers of ways it has affected their lives.  They feel safe and understood, some for the first time since their diagnosis.  Through casual conversation in the house or the formal group process, clients are able to share their stories with each other.  They share their fear of family finding out about their HIV status, their anxiety about how their medicines may affect their daily ability to function, and their grief about how their HIV status has impacted their intimate relationships. 

I am often moved by the way clients can be each other’s strength-- sometimes without even knowing it.  When clients share how they have dealt with their fears and anxieties it is one of the most powerful and healing exchanges that can happen in our program.  Such an experience provides much-needed hope.  They can see from each other how HIV is not a life sentence; how medication will not necessarily make them sick forever, how they can start making plans for their future again, and how reconciliation can happen with family or support can be found in other relationships. Most importantly, they are no longer alone. 

With hope and support, the residents at Positive Directions are better able to begin the process of putting their lives back together.  This takes hard work and not every client is ready to take on this daunting and sometimes scary task.  But for those who find the courage to do so, they not only reclaim their dignity and future, but they pass on hope to others who cross their path, especially fellow residents.     

People often ask how I continue to work with this population day after day, year after year.  This always surprises me because I never ask myself this question -- I feel fortunate to work with the people at Positive Directions.  My job affords me the opportunity to know people who have encountered a multitude of losses and challenges, yet still wake up every morning and bravely face the day.  And on the best days, I have the pleasure of seeing clients reach out to one another, and give each other hope.